Saturday, July 05, 2014

 

Lucky Bastards





A week ago a friend took me on his boat for a ride through the Wachau region of Austria: I am of course very partial to my home country, so my judgement is probably skewed. But the experience of a sunny day, beautiful landscape and good company was enough to make me think what a lucky bastard I was, being able to experience such a day. Even if you have never been privileged to see the prettiest winegrowing region of Austria, you surely have had similar experiences: the famous mountain peak, a remarkable painting, or the birthday of a friend which reminds you how lucky you are to know this person. All of us do, at times, find life one big gift: when beauty, happiness, joy, whatever, hit us, and for no good reason other than grace, all of us thank our “lucky stars” for such experience.

At least, that is the theory, that when we are grateful, we say “thank you”. But the opposite is true: while we are quick to complain, we are slow so express gratitude.  When service on an airline is poor, we complain; when the bus is late, we complain; when a street is dirty, we complain; when Germany loose in the World Cup, we complain. But when is the last time we thanked a stewardess for being so competent; when did we greet the bus driver with a “thanks for being on time!” or the street sweeper for doing his daily job; or when did we write a fan letter to the German soccer team? Somehow we feel a sense of entitlement, so that good things are supposed to happen to us, but not bad ones. Hence the popular title of a book a few years ago “Why do bad things happen to good people?”, implying that most of us are good, and we do not deserve bad things.

This attitude in life also extends to dealing with top management, i.e. God himself: when it rains, we are fed-up, but when the sun shines we do not give thanks. When life sucks, we are grouchy; but when things go well, we take it for granted; a raise is what we deserve, a pay cut is an injustice. There are even scientific concepts explaining this phenomenon, such as attribution theory: it shows that when people are successful, they explain that through their own merits; when they fail, they are more likely to blame external causes for it.

My work regularly takes me to Africa, including some of the poorest parts, such as Uganda. The first thing you notice when you arrive there are the smiley faces, almost making you think that people were happy, even in abject poverty. And  when you spend any time with them, you hear some of the most remarkable statements, such as “I am so grateful I made it through the night” or “Isn’t it wonderful to be alive”. The lack of things which we consider bare necessities seems to have made them not grouchy, but grateful and able express it.

Many of our mothers used to drive us crazy by saying, when we did not eat our vegetables: “There are children in Africa who would give everything to eat your spinach”.  I do not intend to jump on this bandwagon of guilt-induced “thank yous”. But I would love to see myself and others be quicker to praise, thank and acknowledge, and slower to  criticise, complain or moan. Our world would be a better place, and people would have fewer ulcers or wrinkles. Try it sometime!



Comments:
Thank you Tino =)
 
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