Consider this/ Einfach zum Nachdenken

So now I have outed myself… I must also say that I am regularly wondering whether this is a generational thing, hence I am exhibiting “boomer traits” which Xers don’t get, or whether something more profound is involved.

The last example of people ignoring invitations is not a new one; in fact the Bible tells a parable of somebody throwing a big party and people coming up with lame excuses why they could not come. Rather than being grateful those people cannot be bothered; so the host decides to go looking for people who seem less busy, or more grateful, and he does so amongst the poor. Since the poor don’t have such a busy social calendar to manage, they are more available when a social invite comes along; and such invites occur so rarely that they of course gratefully accept.

While working for the Red Cross I had a parallel experience. We used to drive sick people from their homes to the hospital and back: illness does not distinguish between classes, so I ended up rubbing shoulders with the very rich and the very poor, and incidentally those two groups look very similar on an ambulance stretcher. Invariably, the richer the patients, the greater their sense of entitlement: they would expect impeccable service from us, including often deeds beyond the call of duty, such as feeding the dog, putting the laundry into the dryer etc. After having “done our duty” there would often be no tip, not even a word of thanks. The poorer the patient, on the other hand, the more likely they would apologize for inconveniencing us, offer us fat tips while at the same time being sorry for not being able to do more. What is it that distinguishes people, what makes some people generous, grateful and kind, while others seem to be a pain to be around because they take your help for granted and do not see any reason to be grateful? Is it a generational thing? Are those who lived through the recession (are those still alive actually?) grateful while Generation Y consider itself entitled to life, wealth and happiness? I think it is more complicated than that.

When my dad was about 55 years old, he was driving his famous Fiat Cinquecento along the highway when suddenly he lost control of the vehicle, rolled it and found himself in a ditch, with the car lying on its roof. People raced to the scene, expecting to pull out a corpse, or at least a seriously injured man; but dad was absolutely fine, only shaken. He was so shaken in fact that he made a number of resolutions that day, including spending more time with his family and going to church more often. During a split-second he realized that life was a gift and he better live accordingly, in gratitude and with purpose. Some of us live permanently with that realization, either because our circumstances remind us of it (say because we are ill) or because we have trained ourselves to remember it. Others catch a glimpse of that reality, but normally forget that we have a lot to be grateful for; and a last group has become callous and thus acts as if life owed something to them. Even in Africa, where life is highly precarious, some people live with grateful spirits while others look at every opportunity to screw somebody or make a cheap buck.

In the New Testament there is a story of Jesus meeting ten men suffering from leprosy; they all clamour to get healed. So he sends them to see the priest, and on the way there, all of them are healed. One of them, who happens to be a Samaritan i.e. a maverick or outcast, comes back to thank Jesus; the other nine never bothered. Was it just a matter of bad manners? Did they forget? Somehow for the Samaritan the healing lead to the realization that health was a gift, and that he should thank the one who gave it back to him. For the others the healing did not lead to that realization. Similarly all of us go through life surrounded by small and large miracles: beautiful autumn days, being preserved during an accident, living with beautiful people. The question is: do we remember to say thank you? The more we live in a spirit of gratitude, the more we discover how much we have to be grateful for; the less we do, the more life seems to suck. So don’t just do it to be polite or to please your elders; say thank you so your soul learns gratitude. And when the time comes for the ambulance to pick you up, you will naturally give a big tip…and my colleagues from the Red Cross will thank you for it.

October has arrived and with it beautiful autumn colors here in Michigan. I was running in a State park yesterday, and was amazed at the breath-taking beauty of red, yellow, gold and brown leaves all along the path. Even the most hardened city-slicker will find such sights uplifting and beautiful. But how good are we at discovering beauty in the more mundane of life’s settings: the purple glow of an aubergine, the smile of a child in the park, the music of raindrops upon my roof? Or, to take it step further, wet asphalt in the city center, the toothless grin of your homeless friend, ants running in and out of your trash?

The Japanese have a word for things which open our eyes, which jar you with their brilliance: mezamashii. Such things or people jump out at you, shake you by your shoulders and say “wake up”. But this also requires a certain practiced awareness not to let the moment pass you by. This is why most religious traditions urge their followers to practice some sort of meditation: not to navel-gaze, but in order to develop an ability to perceive, to see and hear beyond the drone of daily life. Meditation, prayer, reflection- those things clean our nerve-ends so we are fully aware and alive to what is going on around you.

I have never worn night-vision equipment, but I imagine it to be quite an experience. You put on those goggles and suddenly you manage to see what was previously hidden from sight. Your vision is so heightened that when somebody turns on the lights you are temporarily blinded even. Now imagine you could develop such night-vision for daily life. Suddenly your partner’s comments would not just be small talk, but words which yearn for a deeply felt response; your co-worker’s struggle would turn from somebody’s blunder into an invitation to serve and help; and the cacophony of your city’s noises would reveal the aspirations and hopes of a human community.

One of the Biblical prayers, Psalm 95, says: “If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart”. The implication is that some days we hear God speaking, and on others we don’t; but not because God is fickle and so only occasionally graces us with his word. Rather that we often lack awareness of his voice, and so miss it. Life, creation, relationships are all seriously mezamashii- brilliant, eye-opening. Every day there are miracles out there, prophecies to hear, revelations to behold. The question is whether we have practiced awareness. So put away this computer of yours, and meditate: you will discover the beauty of sunflowers, children, birds, yes even of your own living room. Good day to you!